My husband said to me today that we should maybe call one of our children Guiness. "Good things come to those who wait" and all that. It made me smile at least. He also said that when it'll be our turn we'll get two babies in one go to make up for the wait as he is convinced that IVF will give us twins. Strangely, I hope he is right. Subsequent IVF cycles (once we've had one that works) will have to be paid for. This would be somewhere in the region of £3000-5000+, money that we just don't want to have to spend to get what most people manage by having a one-night stand. So there potentially would be no sibling for our offspring. Therefore, two in one go sounds ideal. Evidently, it's not that straightforward and, of course, it is more risky. But, with my mum having done it I don't fear it. And it would be good for me to experience the same as she did. It's just a shame she won't be around to give me a hand, or help me through all this. I also think that being a twin myself would make me a prime 'candidate' to be a mum of multiples.
But, at the end of the day, I would settle for one baby. Just one. Only one forever if that's all I could have. I always said I wanted a big family, three children ideally but at least two. Now I'd 'settle' for one. Only it's not settling, it never would be as I would be so eternally grateful to be lucky enough to have one.
I am finding it hard today. I feel like I am constantly surrounded by pregnancies and babies. Just today a colleague officially announced her pregnancy and it hurts like hell. Why can't that be us? I know I have heightened awareness and am understandably sensitive but it still knocks me for six, even when I feel 'prepared' for it to happen as I did today (I'd heard that this person was pregnant a few days ago). I'm not sure how I am going to get through the next few months but I know I will because I've somehow got through the last year feeling pretty similar to this and, although it's been awful, I've survived. It does feel like a case of survival. I feel like I am waiting all the time, hence the aptly named blog. But, like my amazing husband said (as well as some Guiness slogan-creator): Good things come to those who wait. And it will be good, more than good, better than in my wildest dreams.