It's been an eventful two weeks since I last posted. We found out that I was immune to slapped cheek which was such a relief. I ended up having a week off work in the end (which was more stressful than it sounds actually!).
During this time some other things happened which caused my pregnancy (and probably general) anxiety to reach a peak and I ended up having some panic attacks. It was pretty awful. I went to see the GP who, although sympathetic, couldn't help much and offered me a phone number for a self-referring counselling service which I have inquired about and have an assessment appointment tomorrow.
After this, I returned to work on the Monday after being off for the week with the slapped cheek testing. About five metres onto the school site I fell over spectacularly. Somehow I managed to turn over and land on my left side rather than my stomach, which was lucky. I was shaken and thankfully I was with Mr Waiting who was brilliant. We went straight to the hospital (I'd phoned and asked for advice). Once we got to the hospital I struggled to walk getting out of the car - I had shooting pains everywhere, particularly in my hips. It was really scary. They checked the baby's heartbeat and thankfully they found it really quickly. It was a definite train sound this time (boy apparently!). After that I was relieved and the baby played ball and kicked mummy lots, which daddy felt too. They gave me strong painkillers for the hip pain and I was there for about 3 hours. The painkillers made me feel woozy so I went home and slept under the hospital's advice rather than go back to work.
I also saw my midwife for a tearful appointment a few days later where I told her all about my worries and troubles. She also listened to the heartbeat but couldn't find it for a minute - it felt like an absolute eternity and again I burst into tears. After telling her of how I've been feeling, she suggested that antidepressants may be a solution but at the moment I can't contemplate putting a drug into my body that could have an effect on my tiny baby.
Talking of baby, he/she is now about 30cm long! His kicks are getting stronger and daddy feels them all the time. I love feeling him kick but it's always a relief that he's still alive. Sounds mad doesn't it? I am constantly terrified that something will happen to him, our precious first baby. The midwife suggested that I attend aquanatal sessions so I'm just seeing about how that would all fit in with work.
There's so much more I want to write but I just can't get it out. Maybe one day I'll feel able to say everything. Suffice to say I'm struggling more emotionally than I'm letting on. So I'll leave you with the most recent bump pictures.
Tomorrow is 24 weeks: Viability day. We are going to celebrate with an Indian Takeaway.