On the 2nd of November we had our 20 week scan. I was very nervous beforehand, though not as nervous as for the 8 and 11 week scans that we had. I was also desperate for the toilet as we had got stuck in traffic and were a bit late so our appointment was shifted backwards a bit!
The scan was an amazing experience. Once we knew that everything was ok we were so happy to just sit (lay!) and stare at our baby, our Stanley or our Lucy. No, we didn't find out which it is! We almost caved in to temptation on the drive to the hospital but we managed to hold out and not find out. I am thinking that baby is a girl now but I really have no idea why!
The scan was beautiful. Baby yawned three times and it was the cutest little yawn that I have ever seen. We saw fingers, toes, everything. And it all measured perfectly. His or her little femurs were only 3cm long - that is so unbelievably small and cute! The baby moved constantly and kept getting out of position for the sonographer.
After the scan we went and had breakfast in the hospital cafe before going back to work. I really didn't want to go back afterwards!
Here is my 20 week bump photo:
Facts about baby at 20 weeks:
- About 26cm long from crown to heel
- Swallowing amniotic fluid
- Covered in white vernix - a waxy substance protecting baby's skin
- Baby now weighs about 11 oz
21 week bump shot:
This last week has been a bit difficult. Children in the school where I teach have been diagnosed with slapped cheek and as I don't know if I am immune to it I am having my blood tested. Whilst this is happening the hospital midwives have advised that I stay away from school. I thought that the results would be back today but they are not going to be ready for a couple of days now apparently. Whilst I can relish this bonus time off, it's actually really stressful. I am concerned I am not immune and have caught the virus for one thing. Another thing is that work is a very stressful time at the moment and I need to be there to do my job. But, the bottom line is that my baby is more important and really precious, perhaps extra precious because he/she is an ICSI Pixie. So, until we know my immunity I am stuck away from school, trying to do some work. I did also make a start on clearing the nursery room today.
This weekend we also made an excitingly large purchase: our nursery furniture. This is what we have gone for. The cot is a cot-bed so will last until the baby is a toddler. I love it. We wanted white and the baskets are so useful, particularly underneath the changing table. We will get the change mat to match at a later stage. We have sheets and blankets already and Mr Waiting's mum is making us some curtains and bunting to go around the room. Things really are progressing!
At the same time I struggle to accept that this is real, that this is actually happening to us. I am scared quite often. When the baby doesn't kick for a while it worries me a lot and I am constantly worried and wanting to get to the next stage. This time it is 24 weeks, or viability. That is only just over two weeks away. I can't imagine getting bigger even though I am every day. I can't imagine giving birth and holding my slimy, sloppy baby in my arms, crying tears of joy. I feel like I am wishing away my pregnancy in many ways, wanting to get to 'safer' points, being all too aware that things can go wrong. I shouldn't be wishing away my pregnancy - it may be the only one I ever experience. However, I actually feel very strongly at the moment that it won't be my last. I am worried it might be but at the same time I can't see us just accepting it and feel like we will try again in future, both naturally and assisted. I just hope everything goes well and we are blessed with a healthy, happy baby at the end of all this.
I am forever in awe at my body changing, at the movement I feel. I try to imagine little feet and hands making those prods but it is so hard! I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I cannot believe that this is happening to me still. We are so lucky to be able to experience this. It is a shame that others don't necessarily realise how lucky they are in experiencing pregnancy. There are so many people out there who long for it, who haven't yet been lucky. I'm sure many take it for granted.
In some ways it is nice to be treated as a 'normal' pregnant woman. But in other ways I feel like I am 'special' , that we should be treated as such. As for my family, well, we definitely fall into the special category. My sister is so excited (although I'm sure a little jealous now actually!), my dad is so happy and will be an amazing grandad, Grandma has been knitting away and presents have already been bought for the baby by my cousin. It is so lovely and special and my whole family are involved in ways I never thought possible. Dad is buying us a pram, grandma a cot (or other things since we have the cot!), and mum's cousin the moses basket. People want to be a part of this baby's life and that is amazing. I feel so lucky to have these people around us. It is a shame that there are those who I thought would rally round but instead have been distant. I say I thought that they would, I think that deep down I knew that they wouldn't, which is sad. But, I have to concentrate on the baby, on the family that are around us all, are just as interested and excited as us and who love and care for us all endlessly.
Tomorrow would've been my Grandad Peter's birthday. He'd have been 85. He died in 2008. It makes me sad that he isn't around (like mum) to see all of the amazing things that are happening. I know he would've spoiled the baby and us rotten, and would have ruffled its hair and said "You're loved aren't ya?". We are thinking of calling Stanley 'Stanley Peter' after him. The only slight issue is that Stanley and Peter both have two syllables, as does our surname, which may make it sound a bit awkward. For Lucy we are thinking, Evelyn, Emilia, Matilda - with Matilda being Mr Waiting's favourite. But there are loads of lovely names out there to choose from! Thankfully we still have lots of time and have already decided our baby's first name, whether it be a boy or a girl!
Hopefully I won't leave it as long before my next update! 22 weeks on Wednesday, time is flying in some ways and going so so slowly in others. 128 days to go!