It's not every day you get to see the gift of life is it? What I mean is, today was the day we had to do M's semen analysis at the hospital. Oh the indignities you have to go through to get that much wanted baby!
So the day started as normal, normal things happening etc. I went for lunch with my auntie and cousin and had a relaxing time of it. Then time was ticking and I knew I had to be back home, telling my auntie and cousin we were off to look at things for the bedroom, which we've been decorating since Saturday.
So I get home and it's sperm time. The joys. I had to hide my face as I was giggling a little too much, mostly through embarrassment (it's not every day you help your husband w*nk into a little pot now is it?!) but quite why I should be embarrassed about it is a mystery... Apologies if you are eating your dinner at this stage! I figured, though, that this blog is going to get a lot more gruesome before I finish so I may as well be as open as about it as I can, with my online world at least. It's not like I'm going to go and describe all this to my work colleagues is it? So little job done I put it down my top (in the pot, of course) between my (rather ample) bossoms to keep the sample at body temperature as per the instructions.
We head off to the hospital which is about 30 minutes away from home. When we get there we head to the embryology lab and are let in by a lovely embryologist whose name I don't know, which feels such a shame, given that she was so lovely. We hand over the pot (which I'd swapped from bossoms to pocket before we got out of the car as I looked like I had three breasts, one of which was rather oddly shaped) and she checked out details. She asked why they were doing the sample and M explained that she'd have a job finding sperm, in his rather usual, jovial manner. We explained that we couldn't get the results from the consultant as we didn't have a consultant appointment booked given that we're starting IVF in the next four-five weeks so she said we could stay and wait while she looked at the sample! So that's what we did.
We went into the little waiting area and discussed what we thought the measurements would be. I guess at 7 million per millilitre, Matthew 5 (previous results at the pathology lab were 4 million then 1 million). We decided there'd be an improvement because we'd been so healthy and taking vitamins etc. Five minutes late she called us in and at first I got a bit scared because I tried to read her face, which I didn't think looked good. We went into the little room and she said "I really thought there'd be no sperm because of what you said earlier but there are loads, plenty for treatment!". So then I thought "hurrah! Massive improvement!". But it wasn't really. The measurements were 2 million per millilitre (a normally fertile man has about 40 million, with 20 million classed as fertile) but at least it was an improvement on last time! Then the motility was 39% (last time it was 36%, so again, an improvement - normally fertile men have 50%). The morphology was 4% (last time it was 1%, this figure varies in what is classed as normal but she believes 4% is on the borderline of normal, which is actually great!). So although there aren't very many, what there are of them are better quality than last time (quality over quantity!). And there are plenty for ICSI as they will only need 20 sperm maximum for that and they will pick the best ones! Then she said we could have a look!
It's not every day you get to see human sperm (namely your husband's sperm!) under a microscope is it?! It was amazing! I could see lots of little fast moving sperm (ok so not as many as I've seen on TV examples on Lord Whinston programmes) but there were many to be seen! And there was also lots of dead 'bits' and 'debris'. But it was amazing! M and I joked afterwards about his little 'fellas', until I pointed out that some are girls already (or will make a girl). So he said that he could actually see the little Xs and Ys on their backs... he's quite the comedian!
So it turned into a really positive and rather special experience! We also chatted to the embryologist about our chances. She said that they were really very good. Since Christmas about 50% of cycles have resulted in positive tests. She said the figures they give you are actually from a couple of years ago so are not all that accurate for now. She also said that with my age and the fact that sperm are our only problem (we think) then the outlook is pretty good. She also said that we need to be positive but a bit realistic and it's getting that balance right that is hard. She was so lovely and so reassuring. So I left there feeling positive and beaming, and fascinated. That was new life in there, my husband's new life. My Stanley and Lucy will be just like that at some stage. Maybe they're being made right now somewhere...