This morning we set off extra early for the hospital. We were too early in fact and couldn't get into the surgery so ended up walking round the hospital before we could get in. When we buzzed to get into the gynae theatre the door was opened by our consultant and it was so nice to see his friendly, smiling face. I became more nervous as we were led to our booth by nurses in full surgery scrubs. We sat there for a while, taking it all in and I was asked to put on the hospital gowns, one for the front, one for the back. At this point I became a bit tearful. The last time I'd seen these hospital gowns with their softness and checked pattern had been when my mum died in one. I couldn't get the thought out of my mind and all day I wanted my mum by my side so much.
I was listening to the conversations going on around. The couple in the next bay were in first. Once she'd been taken down to theatre, her partner went off to do his sample. Mr Waiting and I smiled at each other and we were all like "we know where you're going!". Normally, I wouldn't mock someone in this situation but we were, in effect, mocking ourselves as that's exactly where Mr Waiting was going next! Mr Waiting also remarked that it was just like the school where we worked: sitting in a room full of wankers! When they came back the nurse told him that they had 19 eggs. I thought to myself "I hope we get that many".
The nurse came and checked my details asked me lots of questions before putting the cannula in. I think I was more nervous about the cannula than anything. Soon the embryologist came to talk to us and said we were looking at about 20 good-sized follicles so hopefully around 20 eggs but it could be less or more. The embryologist, also in full scrubs, I guessed was about my age. In any case I noticed that she was young and actually really pretty. She was going to be the one responsible for creating life. Our babies' lives.
A few minutes later she asked Mr Waiting to say goodbye and follow to produce his sample. It was hard not to stifle a giggle! Then the nurse came for me and a wave of panic set in! She led me through the doors to surgery and my first thought was "Oh my God, it's just like on Casualty!". Before today I'd never so much as worn a hospital gown before. I got on the bed and they started putting stuff through the cannula. On the third I asked what it was and the nurse told me that it was the sedative. I asked when it would work and she said, with a big smile, "very quickly". My reply: "yep, you're right". It was strange. Like feeling really drunk yet without the horrible sicky feeling. I was surprised at being stuck with sticker monitors, a blood pressure band, a clip on my finger and an oxygen mask - just like on TV, I thought.
The embryologist had told me earlier that it's best if I try and sleep so I shut my eyes. I'm not sure I slept but I was definitely out of it. The worst bit was the consultant injecting Lidocaine. I'm pretty sure he did it with a speculum and two injections but I can't remember well. I do remember that it hurt though and that, if that bit hurt, then surely the egg collecting needle would too.
I have a hazy recollection of my fourth date with dildo-cam (this time with added 'needle' attachment). I remember it hurt a lot when he first went in and I think I yelped and moved. I'm pretty sure I was then given either more sedative or more pain relief, I'm not sure which. It probably was sedative as my memory fades a lot after that. After that I remember trying to make sure I remembered him counting. He got to 19 and I remember thinking "wow, 19!, the same as the other lady!" Then he moved over to the other side! During the second half I started crying. I don't know why but I think it was something to do with thinking about my mum and wanting her there. The nurse was lovely, stroking my hair and wiping away my tears. I can't remember much after that, except when he put my legs down and I got off the bed onto a trolley and was wheeled round.
In recovery the nurse sat with me. She handed me tissues when I started to cry again and when I said I didn't know why I was crying she said that it'll be all the hormones. Another nurse came round and told me that we had 31 eggs. Thirty-one. I was stunned. Maybe that's why I was crying? I started rambling about whether I was at risk of OHSS and they told me not to worry. Then the nurse sitting with me put some mesh pants on me and I thought "hmm, last time someone else put pants on me I was about four".
Eventually I was wheeled round to my bay and saw my Mr Waiting. It was great to see him. Even if the first thing we talked about was his "business" in the little boy's room". He informed me of their rather explicit porn magazine, kept in a nice wallet style folder. He also said that he didn't use it as it was far too disturbing.
|Real life ICSI|